There’s a time in life when we all dream big. When I was a child, I wanted to be an oceanographer or veterinarian. Astronaut was up there too. Even writer. But then something happens. We turn twelve and magic starts to disappear from the world. There is no Santa Claus. Mommy and Daddy work all day to keep a roof over our heads. They’re not particularly happy with their jobs. We start to understand that there’s a reality that exists in the world that doesn’t care much about our dreams. And so we finish High School, go to college and get a job doing something that someone is willing to pay us for. If they pay us a lot, it’s a better deal. In the real world.
Sometime in my last year of college, I found advertising. I was a natural at getting people to think about things differently. Over the last 13 years, I’ve made a decent living doing it. But it’s not something I always dreamed about doing. And now that advertising has all but disappeared as my priorities shift to marketing, I sometimes find myself wondering what happened to my dreams. I certainly didn’t grow up dreaming about being a marketing guy. No, I no longer wish to be an oceanographer or veterinarian, but over the past 20 years or so, I would have loved to have gotten involved with baseball in some capacity. Or working with Disney as an imagineer. Hell, I’d still love to do those things. But the one thing I know I have some direct control over, is writing stories that make people feel things and think about things differently. Right now, I don’t get paid to do this. So I strap on my work boots and get in line with everyone else who has left dreams behind in order to chase the money that is supposed to get us to a place where we can be truly happy. But to me – being rich is not really a dream. Filling my days with work that I truly and absolutely love and that positively affects other people is my dream now. And if Disney or the Miami Marlins came calling – I would drop everything and run in that direction. And make up for lost time.
We have two young daughters. It’s been a challenge for me to encourage them to keep dreaming and believing when I know first hand how that works. Hopefully, my wife and I are instilling in them enough reality to balance their dreams as they continue to mature into the world. But I can’t imagine there’s a more influential example than their own father reaching for and grabbing hold of his own.
Every day, a step in a certain direction. Every day, making ends meet. Every day, continuing to dream.
***
Nichole
Nov 17, 2011
News Flash: To the outside world, you are living a dream.
But seriously, I get your point. I think it’s great that you are teaching your girls that it’s ok for adults to dream. That it’s not all “nose to the grind” and “climbing the ladder of success.” So many kids are told to “grow up” and “to be successful.” Fortunately your kids have a living example to follow when measuring their own success.
Jim Mitchem
Nov 17, 2011
You’re right. I am living a dream right now. A dream I actually once had. But my post is more geared to lifework. It wasn’t very clear in there. My bad.
terryl
Nov 18, 2011
Word, Nichole. I am of the “outside world,” peering in on the perfectly imperfect life of the Mitchems, hoping to be just like them one day. Always seemed like a dream world to me too.
Jim Mitchem
Nov 18, 2011
Oh stop it.
Greg
Nov 17, 2011
As always though provoking and much appreciated –
My head has been in the same place, I have watched this YouTube Video each day this week making me think . . . http://youtu.be/QDmt_t6umoY
Best
Greg
Jim Mitchem
Nov 17, 2011
Great video. Thanks for the share, Greg.
Jenifer Olson
Nov 17, 2011
Then again, Jim, I think there’s some truth to what Dale Carnegie once said: “Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.”
I’ve crossed a lot of dreams off my bucket list over the years, but the list keeps growing. I’m quite sure I’ll never get to them all, and that’s OK. Of all the things I ever wanted to do and did, I think the only thing that really matters is loving and being loved along the way. If you’ve got that, the rest is icing.
Jenifer
Jim Mitchem
Nov 17, 2011
You’re 100% right, Jenifer. And like I mention to Nichole above, I am living a dream, being surrounded by love. But I’m very selfish about the ‘purpose’ of lifework. The meaning. The reason why I am good doing one stupid thing very well when there are other things my heart thinks it would rather be doing.
Aesop Conley
Nov 17, 2011
Dream, baby, dream. Dream, grownup, dream.
I told a friend about a big dream a few weeks ago. Said I hadn’t dared to dream big enough lately, and would she like to join with me in a big dream, for once? A trip to India and Nepal to walk in the footsteps of the Buddha. See the ruins, the sites, sleep in monasteries, maybe get the shits from all the bad water in that part of the world. An adventure.
She, a fan but not a devotee of Buddhism, about flipped. “I haven’t dared to dream big either, lately! Yes, let’s dream.”
So I made a map. I plotted out all the points of interest, beginning with the four major holy sites the Buddha recommended his followers visit if they ever need a morale boost. Within those four major sites, all the monuments, stupas, relics, everything right down to the best outhouse and where to eat a thali.
I showed my friend the map. “I’m so sorry I haven’t had time to research it with you,” she said. I assured her it was okay, I’m enjoying dreaming by myself and just knowing she was “in it with me.”
The map grew and grew, and I kept digging. I poured over travel blogs, Wikipedia entries, and websites edited by bona fide monks. I used Google Street View to put myself inside the dream as far as I could. After all, it was to be an expensive trip, so I may as well be a good Boy Scout of American Dreaming and Be Prepared.
I was excited.
And then my friend and I had a falling-out unrelated to this dream. We stopped talking, and the dream became my own, all mine, once again.
Thus was my excitement not dashed, but renewed, to my own surprise.
Moral: Sharing a dream is wonderful, but so is hoarding it.
My novel – Minor King
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