If you’ve followed me for any time on Twitter, you’ve probably heard me mention that I don’t drink. Other than that, I don’t really talk about my past very much. And for good reason – it was rather bleak. And this post isn’t my foray into sharing those dark days. Doing that will come later – when I can organize my thoughts into something that resembles a storyline. But I will say this about that time – despite the rage, and because of the loneliness, I used to dream about having a normal life. A life that didn’t include being a slave to my ego and its appetites.
And last night in the shower it dawned on me – I’m actually living the life I once dreamed of. No, I’m not rich and famous and I don’t own a home in the Bahamas. But I’ve got a house, a wife, two beautiful daughters, a career, a college education and couple of cars. Hell, back in my past life, I didn’t even have a license, much less a piece of crap car.
Over the past year I’ve given serious thought about what comes next. Thanks to my incredibly supporting wife, I’ve made a few major changes in my professional pursuits this year. And if fate has anything to do with it, I will be out of being in business altogether in a few years. At which point I can do what I now feel I was meant to do as a result of surviving this long – write about it so that others can take something from my experience. Yeah, that would be another dream come true.
Of course just like with the leap of faith I took to get my life back, there are no guarantees that any of this will work out. The moves I’ve made this year might totally backfire. And if they do, it still won’t stop me from pursuing my new dream. So I remain hopeful and do what’s necessary every day to put myself in the best position to ensure that I get to where I think I need to be. Thankfully, I have a reliable point of reference and know that as long as I’m true to myself, everything works out in the end.