To say I'm a protective father is an understatement. This will probably be my undoing as my daughters reach their teens. And while we wholeheartedly endorse that our children explore new ideas and experiences – we consistently encourage the use of common sense.
I'm about to have a serious talk with them about common sense in the age of openness and transparency. It will go something like this – 'If you don't recognize someone who calls your name, ignore them and find a familiar adult. If this person tries to entice you to do something, run away from them.'
Sure, this might sound like a normal conversation you'd have with a child along the lines of 'don't talk to strangers' – but we choose to live in a fishbowl. Talking to strangers and engaging people from all walks of life all across the planet is commonplace today. Hell, by the time my kids are in their teens, they'll likely be experts at vetting those they let into their virtual (and real) circles by virtue of their experiences engaging strangers their whole lives. Within reason, of course.
Think about it – how many people on Twitter do your children actually 'know?' Not many, I’ll bet. But depending on how open you are in Social Media, most people know the names of your children, their ages and what they look like. Does this mean we should stop living our lives here? Hell no. We can’t let fear drive this bus. The more of us who share our lives – the more tolerant we are of new ideas and the more compassionate we are toward people in general. It's a utopian idea. But we all know that utopia is unachievable – so expect to hear stories about the dark side occasionally penetrating our bubble of good.
Please don't consider this post as anything like a harbinger of evil deeds. Bad things will happen whether we’re sharing or not. And the more we
light up each others lives, the more impervious we are to darkness.
Yes, we will continue to share here. But I owe it to our daughters to clearly explain what is happening in our lives – and that so many virtual strangers are now part of it. Good people who may very well become lifelong family friends. But, with good comes bad. Sometimes. If you're not prepared.
Note: There are some great security filters on Facebook that you might consider utilizing. Though it takes some digging – it’s good to know they’re there.
Jim is a father, husband, copywriter and founder of smashcommunications.com. You can find him on Twitter @smashadv
Jason
Jun 11, 2009
You should make sure to see Geno Church talk if you haven’t already… I have two daughters, and his openness yet awareness made me choke up a bit.
Tracy
Jun 11, 2009
I think you make an excellent point, we need to teach our kids how to practice personal safety with social media/internet as a given. My oldest is almost 14 and I have these sorts of talks with him often. Of course, he knows it all and I’m such a worry wart “soccer mom” in his eyes but I hope a bit of it is sinking in.
Heh, how do you teach an adolescent online reputation management?
Tracy
Jun 11, 2009
Oh, I wanted to add we have talks with the smaller ones, too but it’s much more basic and is mostly focused on things like don’t go off with strangers, ect.
Jim Mitchem
Jun 11, 2009
Who is Geno Church?
Jim Mitchem
Jun 11, 2009
I think at some point, like with all things in life, kids have to make their own mistakes. All we can do is make them aware of pitfalls. If we can instill solid common sense, we’ve done our jobs.
Jim Mitchem
Jun 11, 2009
It’s all about awareness at this age. My daughters are 5.99 and 8. The ‘last’ thing I want to do is scare them.
Tracy
Jun 11, 2009
I tell you, there have been days when I’ve been convinced he’d never learn common sense. I’m still not sure he’ll ever learn to appreciate clean laundry. My parents probably thought the same about me.
Letting them make their own mistakes is tough, but it’s going to happen so I try to give him enough freedom so he can make some smaller ones now and learn from them.
Tracy
Jun 11, 2009
Oh yes, I want my kids to be open to the world and confident.
I’m really glad you posted this, I was a bit shaken when that chicken post went viral and it included photos of one of my sons. It made me stop and evaluate how much exposure I was comfortable with for my children. Those of us who do participate widely in social media should take a moment to think about and how we’ll handle things when they come up.
My novel – Minor King
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