Let’s get right to it – I don’t give a damn about unlocking badges or stockpiling points in a virtual game that involves people I’ve never met visiting places I’ll likely never visit. Which is not to say that Foursquare isn’t relevant. It is. Folks everywhere are now experts on how to manipulate the service for commercial application. Stuff that most anyone can learn with minimal effort, rather than attend love-in conferences on the topic. But I’m not here to diss the experts. We all have to make a living. Rather, I’m here to talk about how I use Foursquare: Murder. Specifically, mine.
The way I see it, I’m going to get whacked at some point. It’s inevitable. I don’t know who the murderer is yet, but I know someone’s out there’s watching me. Which is why I’m always diligently vigilant in crowds of people – like a CIA agent guarding the president in a movie that stars me as the president.
Anyway, I use Foursquare as a way to help the police solve my future murder. When the Foursquare guys finally agree to open my account to the cops (as a result of this blog post, actually) the data will reveal my every move. They’ll know where I’ve gone. When I was there. Hell, thanks to Foursquare’s brilliant data concatenation, they’ll know who else was wherever I was too. Then they’ll use this data to retrace my steps like Bobby Brady used popcorn in Hawaii. Eventually they’ll make it requisite for all GPS devices to operate on Foursquare’s platform without users even knowing it. Stalking will go the way of crank phone calls.
Keep your badges and points. I use Foursquare for more important things – like stopping my own future murder by foiling the murderer’s plot with this post.
2 CommentsLEAVE A COMMENT
Jul 20, 2010
Funny, I’ve thought about this scenario before myself. How one could possibly solve a crime or murder by seeing where the victim – or even murderer – checked in last.
You could even use it as an alibi. “Detective, I wasn’t there when they were murdered. Look, I checked in on Foursquare at the same time in a supermarket across town.”
Better yet, you could use it as an alibi for your employer. “I was too sick, boss. Why would I check into my doctor’s office across town if I wasn’t sick yesterday.”
The possibilities are endless! 😉
Aug 1, 2010
It would be interesting to see if Foursquare has already been used in court cases. “It wasn’t me. I was at the LA airport with 253 other people and have a Swarm Badge to prove it.”
I personally use Foursquare to tease stalkers and throw them off my scent. I always check into places after I leave and make sure it’s a mundane location. If they want to phone stalk me again (true story) they’ll end up talking to Irna the impatient DMV attendant instead.