We all depend upon communication. Getting the message across is critical. Here are a few grammar tips for those who write for a living.
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are(usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don’t use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. Kill all exclamation points!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said,”I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist
hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. And finally…
35. Always check yur spelling. In the your title too.
Here’s a photo of a black mamba.
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Michael O'Neill
Mar 22, 2009
The irony of #1 is epic.
dcgrrl
Mar 22, 2009
I enjoyed these reminders. You might enjoy http://twitter.com/theslot – he’s a WaPo copyeditor. See your tweets later!
Lisa Hickey
Mar 22, 2009
Hadn’t thought grammar could even get me to crack a smile, not to mention LOL. I must not get out much any more. 🙂 Thanks for transcribing, it was well worth it. And “Be more or less specific” sounds like something I’ve said before. Whoops!
Nichole
Mar 22, 2009
This is genius.
rampantheart
Mar 23, 2009
One word. Brilliant!
Vinyl_mike
Mar 23, 2009
How noble of you. Each one of those points were twitters on their own, but you shared them all in one blog for us. Thanks!
Henry
Mar 24, 2009
How many rules can I break in one sentence? Let’s see…
They has always been writing rules (for as long as language has flowed from the lips of man) that are as useless, futile, and ineffectual as this list of supefulous rules!!!
My novel – Minor King
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