When I was recently diagnosed with skin cancer I called my mother to tell her the news. She assured me that everything was going to work out and that ‘everyone is having cancer removed these days.’ She also told me that she’d get me on the prayer list at her church. I was honored, of course, but part of me just smiled. I admire her faith in prayer, but have a conflict with the idea.
Like most Christians, I grew up learning to say prayers. Mostly at meals (“God is great…”), before bed (“Now I lay me…”) and of course the Lord’s Prayer. And now my own children know these prayers. But they also know one other that I learned in AA, called the Serenity Prayer. Unlike other prayers, the Serenity Prayer asks God for very little. In fact, it’s just a prayer for serenity, courage, and wisdom. And for me, that’s enough. When I start asking God to do things I want, it feels like I’m telling Him that I know what’s better for me than He does.
I grew up with the stories of God in the Old Testament and Jesus in the New. These stories were my reference points to divine omnipotence. At 27, however, I heard the voice of God in my head. And so since that point I’ve looked at God in a completely different way. Now, God is all-powerful. All-knowing. All-everything. In fact, in my view, if you accumulate the collective knowledge of everything human beings have ever learned about anything, all that wisdom still wouldn’t amount to a pimple on God’s ass. My faith is based in the belief that everything is perfect – even when it’s not. Even when things seem their most dire, there’s a reason. Even when I have no idea what that reason is, I try to remain cognizant of the fact that I’m not in control and that God is. And if I’m really a faithful servant, then I have to believe that He has a plan and that my only role is to keep moving forward in a positive direction trusting that everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. Granted, this isn’t easy. It requires a certain letting go that I could never have understood had it not been for that fateful the day when I was brought to my knees in an act of complete surrender so that I could actually hear the voice. Since then, I’ve always figured that what God wants most from me isn’t a bunch of pleading and complaining in my prayers – but rather, my humility. It’s not up to me to question God’s will. Just to accept it. God’s no dummy, after all.
I get on my knees at night and when I get up in the morning. I pray at most meals. I walk around talking to God throughout my day. I even write occasional blog posts on the idea of God. No, I’m not out there spreading gospel – mostly I just ask Him ‘why?’ about stuff. Hoping to hear the voice again. Only, it hasn’t happened since that day long ago. He talks in other ways, however. Usually over great spans of time that I have to be patient enough to hear. Still, I know He’s always listening and I have faith that He has things in control even though my vision is limited. My actions every day are an attempt at sincere humility.
Most of my friends are control freaks. And that’s ok. It’s way easier to think that we’re in control in life than to believe we must give up control to some omnipotent force in order to get the things we need (not even the stuff we want!). We want what we want when we want it, by God, and nothing’s going to get in our way. I get that. And I wouldn’t want anyone to change how they are because of what works for me. But what works for me isn’t what works most people. So if you pray, and you pray to get things you want – I hope you get them. You do what you need to do to get through life. It’s been my experience that God doesn’t do requests. I’m simply not smart enough to tell Him how things should be. God wants me to be humble and to trust Him. Regardless of what I want.
I was born perfect, and was flawed by a world that told me I was in control. Humility has become my touchstone to the truth.
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Jim Mitchem – Don’t mistake this practice of intimate humility as anything like meek. On the contrary. As a child of God I bow before no man.
Jason Fox
May 23, 2012
Well said, Jim. I think one of the keys to prayer is found in Christ’s prayer in Gethsemane when he said, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” It’s okay to ask for what you want as long you’re willing to accept God’s ultimate answer. For as you say, our vision is limited.
And I am praying for you.
Fox
Jenifer Olson (@jenajean)
May 23, 2012
Well, we’re not totally in control, but I do believe we have free will that determines in part how these things play out. So, go to the doctor and take care of this right away. From there, your journey is your journey.
Saying a prayer for you, Jim, to change the things you can and accept the things you can’t. Some day, we will meet, I’m sure. Perhaps a new Disney attraction!? 🙂
Take care,
Jenifer
Gabe
May 26, 2012
We’re taught how to pray so that we know there is some higher purpose listening for our communication. Praying is like picking up the phone and calling a parent, we start off with the formalities and right away that parent can sense the real reason you picked up the phone “Honey what’s wrong?” they’ll say.
God wants us to cut to the chase and get down to the real reason we’re calling, just like a parent. So if you’re just going through the motions picking up the phone and saying the same thing over and over – that might be the reason you feel like no one is listening to your prayers.
Prayer is personal and therefore you should not feel compelled to ask for anything, real prayer comes from the heart and God will take notice.
You just have to put some faith in it.
Rebecca McCormick
May 26, 2012
Whenever we know what we don’t want, we automatically know what we do want. Somebody treats us ugly; we want to be treated with respect. We incur an unexpected expense; we want the resources to cover it.
Once the contrast is noted, the larger part of us – Spirit, God, Source, whatever you call it – aligns with whatever is for our best and highest good. The problem is, “what we don’t want” is usually so active in our experience, we forget about choosing to focus on “what we do want.” This gap is what we recognize as negative emotion.
For me, prayer is closing the gap: getting my head out of “what I don’t want” and getting my heart in line with God, who is always aligned with whatever is for my best and highest good. Even when I don’t fully understand what “that” is, I can go within, align with Spirit and trust the outcome to reflect Ultimate Good.
Alex
May 26, 2012
I knew I liked you for more than your skillz & general badassery – good post, man. I was reading a series of “Exit Interviews” in Modern Reformation magazine about the many reasons folk leave generic evangelicalism – this one reminded me of you http://www.modernreformation.org/default.php?page=articledisplay&var1=ArtRead&var2=1334&var3=main&var4=Home Hope you get a chance to check it out. Also, George Muller has a treasure trove of inspiration for a deep, meaningful prayer life.
Prayer should not be regarded “as a duty which must be performed, but rather as a privilege to be enjoyed, a rare delight that is always revealing some new beauty.” —E.M. Bounds
James
May 26, 2012
Good post, Jim. I find it interesting how you articulate your beliefs and practices.
Since you asked on the Twitters how we pray… personally I don’t see any evidence of anything supernatural to pray to, but I can see the value of prayer as a form of meditation. In meditation I reflect rather than try to communicate. In meditation I try to allow myself to become more in tune with the natural world around me, get my thoughts in order, and refresh my mind.
In situations where our society often calls for public prayer I instead substitute a humanist reflection. For example, instead of thanking a sectarian deity for a meal I say thanks to those who planted and harvested our food, and thanks to the good friends and family with whom we partake, and I take a moment to be mindful of those who are not as fortunate as us.
My novel – Minor King
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