I haven’t taken LSD in 25 years. Even then, it was just twice. So I’ve never expected any flashbacks. Besides, the statute of limitations on those things run out eventually, I’m thinking. Anyway, despite my non-consumption of hallucinogens, I’ve been having these wildly vivid and strange dreams lately.

Last night’s was no different.

I’m sitting in an office somewhere. Eva Mendez asks me if I’d like a water. I do. Returning with it is Sarah Palin. It’s her office. She closes the door and brings me the water. I stand. Now here’s the part where you think you’d act like your normal self in a dream, right? For example, you might say, “If that were my dream, I’d punch her lights out” or something. But you don’t. You never do. You just stand there going, wha…? So I’m standing there in Sarah Palin’s office and she tells me to sit down. I do. She sits behind her desk. There is great natural light in her office. It looks like NYC outside. I look over at Palin and she’s smiling. And to be honest with you, she’s pretty hot in the dream. She’s wearing a loose fitting white blouse buttoned very low. It looks good in the light. Sexy.  So I’m sitting there looking across the desk at her and she starts talking about something. I remember none of the dialogue–none of it. I do remember her foot bumping against mine, however. And how she didn’t move it. Then, with her eyes fixed upon mine, she slowly traced her hand across her chest, pulled her blouse back and revealed her right nipple.

Suddenly, I’m in this massive underground parking garage with my dog. Evidently, he was in the office with me. He has a bad hip so I’m carrying him. We can’t find our car.

I wake up.




Jim Mitchem

Measuring a Line of Slobber
The Most Creative Thing I've Ever Done

Jim Mitchem

Writer. Father to daughters. Husband. Ad man. Raised by wolves. @jmitchem on twitter. First novel, Minor King, out now.

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