Entitlement is the biggest lie that your ego whispers. 

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Too many children today are on drugs. We didn’t have ADD when I was a kid. We had “Jimmy, pay *#(%@ attention!” We were just kids with vibrant and active imaginations. And no, we didn’t sit still very well either. Parents today are lazy. 

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It’s not even April and I’m booked. No, my life is not nearly as sexy as yours, but there’s something big every day in mine next month. 

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Quit being all tentative. Commit to something. 

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If you’re a parent and you’re tweeting every two minutes, GET OFF THE COMPUTER, PUT DOWN THE PHONE AND BE WITH YOUR KIDS. You will regret it otherwise, one day. Trust me. I get it that you can tweet and play, or that the kids do cute things you want to share, but a few years ago you didn’t have to announce your every thought or share your every moment. And you were a better parent. Parent as in – FOCUSING ON YOUR CHILD ONLY. Just for a day, man. They deserve it. You can do it. 

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Felix Unger was the original metrosexual.

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I hope they never invent a passenger seat eject button in any car my wife drives that I’m a passenger in.

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Want to be happy? Be uncomfortable. Take the fight right to change. It’s coming at you anyway. 

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The older I get the more I resent the so-called ‘real’ world for getting in the way of my poetry. 

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The pain and chaos of adolescence encroaching on my daughters breaks my fucking heart. 

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When you’ve got to fish around in the old mail for the latest movie from Netflix, chances are it’s going back unwatched. 

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Television commercials for meat restaurants make me want to vomit. 

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Rebecca Black is the new Rick Astley. #BeckRolled
Unger

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Unbalanced
Little Words

Jim Mitchem

Writer. Father to daughters. Husband. Ad man. Raised by wolves. @jmitchem on twitter. First novel, Minor King, out now.

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