One of the really awesome things about being married is knowing that you will never have sex with a different human being again as long as you live. Or at least, that’s how it is in my mind. Which is why it’s a good thing that I got all of that out of my system early on, and married someone who fulfills my desires. I’m fine with monogamy. But that doesn’t mean that desire just disappears. It’s almost like a constant fight against your biological instincts. For men, I mean. We're designed to keep the species going. Of course there are men who fall victim to their appetites, and wander. 

My point is that if you’re going to marry – make sure that person fulfills your desires. And if you can, try to marry someone who understands how important it is to recognize playful desires – and how to use them. For example, my wife and I have this game where we would grant each other a kitchen pass to have sex with one of five people on the planet. But not with someone we know, that would be weird. Rather, celebrities or public figures. Here’s how it works, if one of the five people on your list ever offered to go out on a date with you that ended in sex, we’d allow each other to do it with no guilt or strings attached. 

Her list contains Johnny Depp, the Bond guy and then some other guys who all kind of run together for me. More importantly, here are mine: 

1) Natalie Portman 

2) Charlize Theron

3) Alecia Keys

4) Penelope Cruz 

5) Halle Berry

Of course the prospect of ever going on a date with any of these stunning women is remote, but you never know. And at least I know I’m allowed. 


Jim Mitchem/@jmitchem

A Night at the Movies
Is David Ortiz Florida from Good Times?

Jim Mitchem

Writer. Father to daughters. Husband. Ad man. Raised by wolves. @jmitchem on twitter. First novel, Minor King, out now.