So here I am back at the pediatric dentist, or as i like to call it – the scene of the great laughing gas incident of 2010. Since there are no teeth being extracted this time, both girls were at ease in the drive over after school. After filling out the green form letting the dentist know that we haven’t tried to do any dental work on our own, the girls disappeared into the abyss where the checkups are performed. It’s now up to God, ethics and mad craftsmanship. My only hope is that the girls don’t reveal what terrible parents we are for feeding them quality fare and a strict enforcement of quality oral hygiene.
Waiting in the lobby, a voluptuous teenage girl appears from the abyss. She walks up to a woman a few years my junior and announces that she needs braces. The mother lets out a sigh. A few seconds later another teen girl appears. She grabs the first teen and they skirt away with car keys in hand. As soon as they leave, the woman looks over at me and says, “Just you wait.” I give a crooked smile and clumsily type all of this on my iPad – certain that I look like I’m in denial. After a bit, my daughters appear. They each have toothbrushes with fairies on them and have purple lips. Oh, and no cavities. I set their next appointments and we politely thank the receptionist for the hygienists disrupting the girl’s bacteria. Then, as we walk out of the office, the mother of the teens, who was waiting for yet another child to emerge from the abyss, smiles at me and whispers, “Enjoy it while you can.”
Nissan, "Baby"
Pack Mentality

Jim Mitchem

Writer. Father to daughters. Husband. Ad man. Raised by wolves. @jmitchem on twitter. First novel, Minor King, out now.