I grew up with three sisters. I now have a wife, two daughters and a mother in-law under my roof (technically the MIL is in a flat over the garage, but you know what I mean) – I know a thing or two about girls. Women however? I’m still learning.
Our daughters are nine and seven. Our youngest, Cozette, is very artistic and fashionable. Not ‘popular,’ fashionable, but rather that she interacts with aesthetics in different ways than the rest of us. Her sense of fashion and design is evident in many forms. Anyway, she’s wanted earrings since she was four. I’ve deflected each request with the argument that she’s too young.
Yesterday two of her friends (twins) went to Claire’s and got their ears pierced for their eighth birthday. (Thanks for that, Smithwick.) The rest of the day Cozette had me in a full-court press that would make John Thompson proud. She wanted the damn earrings. Her appeals made me feel powerful. I said no again and again, however, citing that it’s modifying something that’s already perfect, and eventually resorting to ‘they’ll get infected.’ She wrote me a rationale. I said no. Finally, there were tears. But I held firm. No is no.
I don’t like the idea that girls need earrings to make them prettier – so they’ll have more confidence in life. It’s all connected, you see? I want to raise very confident women who don’t have to rely on gimmicks to make it in the world.
“I don’t want them to make me prettier, Daddy. I just like them.”
I know this child. I can’t change who she is. I could try, but she’s stubborn like her mother.
We’re going to Claire’s tomorrow. It could be worse – but, thankfully, her sister could care less.
***
Jim Mitchem/@smashadv
StacyHurt
Aug 20, 2010
Hee! I told my daughter she could have her ears pierced as a rite of passage when she began menstruating. By then however (13), she didn’t want them anymore. I feel for you, ‘gurls’ when they really want something can whine & pester and cajole and reason till the cows come home. MmmmOOooooooo
Addie King
Aug 22, 2010
I had my ears pierced as a child and really didn’t wear earrings for years. However, in college I started wearing them again and do so every single day. I was highly appreciative that I didn’t need to have them pierced when older.
Having her ears pierced will positively affect your daughter in ways that may never seem directly evident. =)
Marie
Aug 31, 2010
Jim,
I grew up with three brothers. Older brothers, if that matters. I’m a few years older than you. Anyway, I was 13 when I had my ears pierced and early on, we set that age for our daughter. We had a heck of a time keeping her at bay when *all* and I really mean all her friends had them done earlier. So 13 finally came, we took her to Northlake, except Claire’s was downstairs back then (or was it up—anyway, it’s moved). It hurt worse than she thought, even though she was warned and warned. Gosh, it hurts to see your child in pain, doesn’t it? The Claire’s person said it wouldn’t hurt much and my daughter hates her now. So she wore earrings for about 1/2 year and then lost interest. Maybe it was a power struggle, you know, independence. About once every 3-6 months she’ll wear them….when she can find them.
Marie
@mariegoocher