Earlier today I watched this video, and it made me sad. Then I read about how ISS astronauts are preparing to monitor a comet passing close to Mars later this year. And that made me sad. I became sad because it occurred to me how life is so big that we never get to experience everything we’d like. No one can do every cool thing there is to do, or have every cool job they’ve ever dreamed of working. Instead, we make the best decisions we can, commit to them, and live our lives. Sure, we can set goals to experience different things, and we can change careers to do different jobs – but mostly we choose the things that are right in front of us. The path of least resistance, if you will. And we get comfortable. Meanwhile, the sand keeps falling in the hourglass. Then, before you know it, you’re a 49-year old marketing guy with two kids and a mortgage. And you watch videos of guys hugging lions and it makes you sad.
I always thought that because of my wild past, I was somehow immune to a mid-life crisis. But I’m not. It turns out that I’m human. Making my way from homelessness to living something like an American Dream doesn’t feel like enough anymore. There’s a fire inside that longs to hug lions.
Understanding life’s limitations is a terrible ache.
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Bruce
Oct 2, 2013
on the upside. Life is what you have in front of you. Everything else is done.
Steve B
Oct 2, 2013
Ok, I can see why that video had an effect on you, because it is pretty f**king awesome. Half the stuff I’d never want to do, but the perspective is incredible. Hugging lions – heck yeah!
On the other hand, you’ve done a lot more than most people could hope or even endure. Homelessness to sobriety and a beautiful family, writing a book, inspiring others with your writing. Nothing to just dismiss.
But still, hugging lions…
Adrienne
Oct 13, 2013
I’m grateful to have stumbled across this post today Jim. Because I can relate right down to the chromosomes in my DNA.
I, too, have experienced a “lot” in my life . . . I’ve mostly lived by the philosophy that I’d rather regret something I did (rather than something I didn’t). . . and yet I still feel melancholy when I consider that this wild ride is approaching the halfway point.
I keep thinking back to the concept of CHOICES and how lucky we are to have them / but the very nature of them also implies that there are “roads not taken” at nearly every juncture we pass. And this bothers me … because I’m an adventurer who wants to travel down all the trails (at least far enough to see what’s there.)
So how do I deal with this “mid life crises” ache that I thought I was going to artfully dodge by a lifetime of exploration and fearless adventure? I have no easy answers. . . but a better grip on the question than I had yesterday.
And for today – that will have to be enough. . .
laura
Oct 16, 2013
Belief in a higher power has always helped me along with a thankfulness for everything I’ve been able to enjoy him my life. I too have been very lucky to have traveled and done many exciting things in my life. Watching the video, which is truly amazing, only makes me happy to know those things are still out there, not only for me maybe, but for the next generation.