How The World Ends

It starts when Gaza lobs a garbage can filled with dynamite into Israel, and Israel responds with laser-guided missiles. Iraq sympathizes with the plight of the Palestinians and allows Iran to march its army right through to Syria where they attack Israel from the east, while Egypt attacks from the south. The US and England join an alliance with Turkey to head off Iran and Syria from the north. Meanwhile, oil-starved China seizes an opportunity for energy independence, buys all the “Stans,” and invades Iran from the east. The entire nation of Jordan runs away to Saudi Arabia where sheiks with joysticks control drones that arbitrarily drop Yanni CDs inside the war zone.

Far away, across the ocean, people in America continue to complain about not having Twinkies.

And Canada takes over the world.